Friday, June 24, 2016

Thoughts for the week #5 - sexuality

I've decided to start casually inserting the fact that I am bisexual (synonymous with pansexual and queer to me, but I prefer bi) into relevant conversations. I don't really want the big "coming out" story and my hope is that someday people will be able to just toss their sexuality out there as a fact with it being completely not a big deal. "Got a crush on any girls in class, Timmy?" "Actually, I'm gay, but still no." "Maybe you'll find a cute boy at summer camp!" Or even better: "Got a crush on anyone in class?"

Realizing and accepting that this is my sexuality took a very long time. I only admitted it to myself last year. So Mara Wilson's story really rung a bell with me. There are plenty of reasons to be scared. I have mostly been consumed by the potential reaction of people who have defined my sexuality for me. I don't want to have to argue or defend who I am.

But here I am in a relatively safe position: married to a cis-man, appearing heteronormative, in a fairly liberal area and state. I don't want to contribute to the silence and taboo surrounding bisexuality anymore. I know I'm going to get obnoxious questions, but I think it'll be worth it.

So, to knock a few out of the way:

  • Being married to a man does not make me straight, just as gay people married to someone of a different gender are still gay.
  • Being bisexual does not mean I'm going to cheat on my husband. I am strictly monogamous. It just means that had my life not gone the way that it did, dating and marrying anyone who is not a man was an option. Well, that's assuming I came to terms with being bi a long time ago instead of a year ago.
  • Are you attracted to every person of your preferred gender that you see walking down the street? No, and neither am I.
  • If you're going to make some lesbian porn joke, just please stop talking.
Other than those, I suppose I'll entertain some questions if anybody has them.

And that turned into kind of a specific post instead of random thoughts for the week, but oh well!

GIF of the week
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Photo of the week

From my birthday! It was a good day.

1 comment:

  1. Proud of my beautiful, brave, and honest daughter.

    no labels, just love.