Tuesday, November 05, 2013

Links & reflections on body image


Something I have been coming to realize on my own - My baby family (as in, my new family unit in all its youth) is a lot more work than I expected. It's odd because I don't really feel different than before. What has changed is more than just signing some papers and having a party, and not just in a taxable sense. Hulky and I are both more aware of each other and how we relate to each other. It's scary, but it's exciting and I feel very strongly that we can build a strong family unit together.

Marriage is for this guy.
Marriage Isn't For You - My sister-in-law shared this on Facebook the other day. It came at a good time for me. The title of the article isn't what you think. It's not that you don't get married for yourself, but that marriage is stronger (probably, what do I know at only four months into mine?) when you treat it like it is all about the other person who has entered into it with you. If they do the same, you are both cared for. I have a habit of getting too wrapped up in my own needs and fears. I end up neglecting the other person in the relationship. I want to be a supportive wife and the only way to do that is to just be it. So I am trying. Choosing to get married was about trusting that I could do my part and make this work. We can't really know what's going to happen down the line, we can only try. Maybe this is stuff I should have thought about before we got married, but thinking about it at any point is probably good.

Growing Eden, Twenty-something and pregnant in New York City (affiliate link) - I read Kate's blog, Eat the Damn Cake, and so I thought I'd buy her book. I'm not too far into it yet, seeing as it just came out today, but it's great. I don't know what kind of person I'd recommend this book to, but it's definitely a book for me. Kids are definitely a few years down the line for me, but I've had Kate's blog makes me consider my conceptions of beauty a lot and how they're imposed on me by others. Her book is making me consider how diet plays into that as well. I see so many people trade the term "diet" for "way of eating" with no real difference in how that effects their self-image or self-worth. I don't think there's anything wrong with wanting to lose some body fat, to an extent, but there is such an overwhelming voice in our society that you are either THIN and successful or FAT and a waste. It's awful. I feel guilty for trying to discuss it, having always been thin.
This rhetoric of "get your body back" is so frustrating. Women are always being told to seek out some mythic, perfected version of our own bodies. The true body. The one you can finally be proud of and simultaneously stop thinking about. Wouldn't that be amazing? To find your way to your perfect body and then just stop? (From Growing Eden)
I guess what it comes down to is this: in order to be happy with your body, you have to learn to be happy with it at any size or shape. Waiting "to be thin" or "to be fit"... you might never realize when you are there.

I just started a kickboxing class last night. Getting over how self-conscious I am of making odd noises and moving my body in unfamiliar ways is hard. It will be a process. I hope I can stick with this and start to have fun. I'd say it's enjoyable, but not really fun yet. I am trying not to be too hard on myself about not being good at something unfamiliar, but it's a long-ingrained habit.

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