Friday, March 22, 2013

How to say goodbye - teenage edition

On March 1, 2013, I closed the Yahoo! group that I had created over nine years ago. It was called Teens With Self-Injury.

Photo from a friend that was the main image on the group homepage.

I notified the group members before it was closed, scheduling out specific dates that posting would be disabled and the group would be officially terminated. Yahoo doesn't let you archive things, so done is done.

I no longer remember specifically what led me to create my own support group. I know I was a member of some other support groups for depression and self-injury at the time. Some were on Yahoo and some where on hosted message boards. For a while, these people were my support network. I made a good friend through my group that I am still in (somewhat infrequent) contact, but that's the beauty of Facebook, no?

I felt some guilt with deleting this group, some responsibility for the other members, despite the inactivity of the past couple of years, that I was taking away a life line. In the end, my therapist reminded me that a good decision does not have to be an easy decision. With the group gone, I feel a lot of relief. I wanted to let go of that part of my life and this was a symbolic and very real way for me to do that. I took some time to review some of my old posts before March and was impressed at how articulate I was at that age. 15 is no 7, but I saw a lot of intelligence in then-me that, at the time, I could not see at all. It's encouraging, that I've come so far, but also a bit sad that chemicals and hormones put me through such dark times and there are still so many others that do.

If I could say one last thing to the group members, it would be, "Good luck on your journeys."

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