Wednesday, November 21, 2012

Resolve.

2012 has been a challenging year for me, but I’m really proud to be able to say that I’ve made a lot of progress in all my goals. My body may not be cooperating in the way that I would’ve liked it to be at this point in the year, but I know what will help. It’s just a slow path. In the long run, it’s the best path for me. I am hopeful that I will see improvements before the end of the year.

Today, I’m not writing about giving thanks. I’m writing about resolve. This year was all about health for me. I struggled in all aspects of it. Sometimes, it was the way I ate. Other times, it was the way I thought. I hit some really low points, repeatedly, but I also had some really high moments. This year is the first time in ages that I felt like I was able to think clearly and experience long periods of time free of anxiety or depression. When I compare this feeling and behavior to past years, I actually cannot remember ever feeling like this before.

Some of the progress I’ve made over the past year is through changing words in my thought process. Is it that I “shouldn’t” eat this French fry, which was born in a vat of rancid and hydrogenated oils, and will make my knee hurt and stomach bloat? Or is it that I “can’t”, because my health is worth more to me than a brief, but satisfying, crunch? My diet is not like most of the ones that people eat around me. To many, it seems restrictive. To me, it is essential. I do not feel saddened by not eating donuts for breakfast, lunch, dinner, which is something that I used to be able to do, seemingly, without consequences. Now, even smaller amounts of refined sugar are problematic for me, both for body and mind. If giving up sugar, wheat, soy (which I’m sensitive to anyway), and legumes leads me to be happier and healthier, that’s excellent! I still have a lot of options for food. Who doesn’t love meat and potatoes, after all? (Crazy people, that’s who…and vegans.) I don’t understand why/how people get so emotionally attached or defensive over things like a bad of chips. Why is that such a difficult thing to give up? The addictive properties of some of the ingredients in processed foods could certainly play a role. I won’t pretend to understand: I was never a big junk food eater. But pastries, man! I could eat bread stuff all day. No longer.

This photo just made me giggle.
On worse days, it can be difficult to go out in the world and maintain my resolve. It’s come to the compromises I’ve made with myself to get away with a overly processed treat or snack here and there are now compromising my health. It adds up. Some people realize it sooner than others (diabetics are a great example! it can be mitigated or improved greatly through a low carb diet), some people never do. That’s okay, it’s their journey to follow. My journey is one to health and I want to get there I soon as I can so I can enjoy it for the rest of my life.

After discussing a friend’s between-holidays plans, I’m contemplating sticking to a whole Whole30 plan after Thanksgiving until Christmas. It’s easy for me to say “except butter” or “except yogurt” or “I’ll have wine just this once”, but the whole point of the plan is to be 100% compliant to it. That way, you can know for sure if you are experiencing improvements. I don’t know if I’ll be able to be 100%, but I am going to try my best. My health depends on it.

2 comments:

  1. Yes, this is going to be my first true whole 30 too. I may even give up coffee.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I think I'm going to allow the leftovers that aren't 100% (pie crust has butter in it, pumpkin muffins have butter in them), but there's not much of that. Just for budget purposes. Then it's on!

      Delete