This was a nice reminder of keeping my blog about me, and just writing what I want to write about and whatever I feel like writing about. I may not have many readers right now, I may not ever, but they’re here because they like something about the blog and that’s all I ask.
Sometimes this dietary journey is a huge pain in the ass. It’s hard to coordinate food within a meager budget when you live and eat with someone who does not follow the same dietary restrictions as you. At the end of the day, I sometimes have to take some time to have a mental tantrum and remind myself that giving up and going back to eating regular grains is not going to help me in the least. For one, they make me feel bad. Another good reason is that they make me look bad, I get bloated & gain weight! If white rice is all I can handle, I am more than okay with that. And someday this candida overgrowth I’ve been battling will be under control and I can eat all the sweet potatoes and fruit I want with no concerns about repercussions, just energy! Everything will be a bit easier at some point, the boyfriend and I are tackling a lot of things at once right now, but sometimes I just need to freak out a bit so I can move on to the next day of challenges (balancing the budget, eating enough and eating right are the biggest hurdles right now).
One thing that gets brought up frequently when I try to describe the way I eat to other people: “What do you eat?!” and “I couldn’t live without bread!” I felt that way when I first heard about paleo and then started down this road, but it’s a lot easier than you think. When you already like meat, eating meat & veggies (and fruit when my digestive tract is healthy) is not a huge bridge to gap. Being primal generally allows for dairy and a lot of dietary fat (don’t even get me started on why fat, esp. saturated fat, is not so bad for you!), so I started off that way, but after a Whole30, I found I didn’t miss dairy that much and am moving away from it to make sure I feel the best I can while my body tries to heal from a lifetime (well, so far) of mistreatment. I spent at least 5 months rebelling periodically, suffering from the occasional pizza or cookie (yes, even just one could have bad results for me!), and finally feel like I’d rather have an apple with almond butter for a treat. I feel really proud that I am starting to make healthy choices for myself, just by default, though I’ll admit that the lure of gluten-free baking is a strong one… Luckily for me, I’m broke!
Someday I hope to not spend so much time worrying about what goes into me and being able to just eat what I want and function well. My mental health is still precarious at times and it is beyond frustrating trying to keep myself in check some days when some part of the formula (sleep, diet, exercise, supplements) isn’t right. All in all, it is a journey worth taking and I am proud that I am willing to undertake it at such a relatively young age.