Monday, October 17, 2011

Body image–revisited

As a reminder, one of my goals this year has been to be healthy and get fit.

I’ve been my usual flakey self when it comes to doing regular exercise. My gym membership is up and I won’t bother renewing it, since I hadn’t gone to swim for several months prior to it expiring. I try to do push-ups everyday, and I do kettlebell swings usually 3-4 days every week, as long as my body feels well-recovered from the last session. One work-out is usually only a few minutes, or however long it takes to do 50 swings. Yes, that’s it. And I can really feel the difference in my arms. I’m planning on being able to do 100 swings before I try progressing to other exercises with the kettlebell, since my upper body strength is pretty low. With a 15lb kettlebell, right now I can’t keep control if I try to press it over my head and ideally I should be able to do that at least once without shaking like a leaf.

I took a chance today and weighed myself on the most accurate scale I have access to (an analog scale in the supply room at work) for the first time in many months. I came in around 127lb, which means I’ve lost ~3lbs. There are a lot of articles out there that shun weighing while trying to get fit. I have avoided weighing myself because I know that I will harp on the numbers, which is also why I haven’t measured myself (which is basically the alternative to “keeping track”, unless you just log how you feel and go by that, which I think is the healthiest way to go about tracking your progress). I find myself somewhat pleased by the number drop, nonetheless. I know that there is some body fat that I could stand to lose, but at this point, that’s no more than 2lbs, and the rest I really want to convert to muscle. I want to feel strong for the first time in my life and I’m getting there!

I keep a journal on Mark’s Daily Apple to keep track of how I feel in my journey towards health and fitness. I’ve recently made a renewed effort to keep personal drama from my journal there and keep it limited to evaluations on mental fitness as well as physical health. The support network is wonderful there and I’ve found it very helpful to know that other people are struggling to find natural solutions to depression and anxiety.

The other way I keep track is just visually. Your average female worries incessantly about the appearance of her behind and her stomach, and I am much like your average female in that way. I got my naval pierced back in July for inspiration to get in shape (and, maybe, get ABS, but those are pretty tough for a healthy-eating woman to get without starving herself or losing fertility) and I don’t know if it’s really worked, but I still like it even if I haven’t grown back my outtie belly-button. I don’t think I’ll ever get that back unless I drop down to my lowest possible body mass, which is ~115lbs without my body needing to feast on my flesh to continue surviving. That’s my weight from high school and if you see pictures of me in a bathing suit from then…well, you’ll understand why I could not physically go any lower without being seriously ill.

So now I embrace 127lbs! Screw BMI, but I am in a perfectly healthy weight range, even if it was all fat and not the growing buds of biceps too!

2 comments:

  1. Your view of things seems sound and you will no doubt thank yourself for the work you put in. In my heart I want to comment on most of the things you mention but I may come back to this at some other point. To a certain extent, talking about any body image related issues is kind of uncomfortable for me. So yes, I read this but I don't have the right mindset to respond right now.

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  2. I know it's probably uncomfortable for you... It's kind of uncomfortable for me too, but I make myself talk about it because it gets easier and it makes me be honest. Plus in places like blogspot (where not that many people comment) I can really just let it go, and on health forums, I can get feedback.

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