Wednesday, July 13, 2011

Confidence in not knowing

Prompted by this entry (check out the blog, it's totally ALWAYS sweet).

The older we get, the more certain we get about who we are and what our purpose is. For me, a lot of it is still unknown, but as I make my way down my own path, I have begun to realize that there are indeed some inevitable truths that I know for sure. On your own blog, write a post that talks about "the one thing you know for sure."

This may be cheating to say so, but the one thing I know for sure is that I don't know for sure. My life has been in a state of upheaval for almost ten years now. Almost ten years ago was when I began to recognize myself as depressed. Since then, I have struggled to find balance in my life, in all aspects. Currently, I am tackling my body image and health. I am trying to eat healthier. I am attempting to cut out carbs this week, but have found myself experiencing "carb flu", which leaves me feeling incredibly unfocused, worn out by early afternoon, and foggy. It's not a pleasant feeling, but my acid reflux symptoms have seriously diminished and the bloated feeling I've had has largely gone away.

I didn't know for sure that cutting back on grains would help with this. I didn't know for sure if Mr. Boyfriend and I would still be together by now (a year and a half in). I didn't know for sure if I was going to make it through to graduation last year, but I did. I try to take confidence in not knowing, now, because it allows for change. Change is scary for someone like me. Sometimes I love it, sometimes I hate it. I am having a very hard time changing my eating habits and keep attributing it to not having time, energy or space to really prepare meals. I don't know for sure if that will change when we find an apartment, but that's okay. It can go either way, and either way I'll find a way for it to work. Either way, I survive.

2 comments:

  1. I love this and I'm so right there with you. We really don't know anything, when it comes down to it. How crazy is that?! I loved your post though- very thought-provoking.

    Thank you so much for linking up, too!


    <3

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